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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25498891">Red</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanoutlaw/pseuds/justanoutlaw'>justanoutlaw</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Swanfire Week 2020 [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Once Upon a Time (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Blood, Canon Compliant, F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:09:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>445</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25498891</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanoutlaw/pseuds/justanoutlaw</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Loving Neal was red.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Baelfire | Neal Cassidy/Emma Swan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Swanfire Week 2020 [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1847452</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Red</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Red is the color of the jelly filled donuts that she purchases whenever they scrape up the cash. They're Neal's favorites and she loves the way the powder cases his lips, the jelly drooping down his chin.</p><p>It's the neon sign they spot every day when they walk past a physic's shop: 99 Cent Dreams. Neal smiles and says "Those are about the only ones we can afford."</p><p>Emma quips back that even a dollar is too expensive these days.</p><p>It's all she sees when they draw her blood during booking for prison. She's poked, prodded and asked to pee in a cup. That's how she finds out she's pregnant with Neal's baby after he abandoned her.</p><p>Red is the color of the leather jacket she chooses, her armor. It will protect her from ever getting hurt again. From people like Neal.</p><p>She's wearing a red scarf the day she shoves him to the New York City streets, realizing that he's the son of Rumpelstiltskin. Even more she comes to know that she never stopped loving him. Not that she'll ever tell him that.</p><p>It's the shade Henry's ears turn when he realizes Neal is his father. That she lied about him dying. He won't talk to her outside of quips for a week and she can't blame him. She hates herself for lying too.</p><p>There are hues of it in the sunset when they set sail to head back to Storybrooke. Neal is with Henry and her stomach burns. Why can't she hate him anymore?</p><p>The blood that seeps through Neal's shirt after Tamara shoots him is so dark, it's barely red. No, it's brown. Emma clings to Neal with everything in her, not wanting to let go. She'll follow him anywhere. She can't lose him again. She can't be another person to let him down.</p><p>But he begs, so red is all she remembers as he swirls down the vortex. That and the "I love you" that fell off both of their lips.</p><p>Red is in the flame when she gets confirmation that he's alive. That night in the caves where she makes her hardest confession yet.</p><p>"I love you but I wish you were dead."</p><p>Because it's so hard to love Neal. It's hard to be vulnerable. It's hard to admit that she's scared of losing him again.</p><p>She would've worn red to their date at Granny's, instead she lingers by the door before running. Too scared to run in.</p><p>There's no blood when Neal dies the second time. There's no red.</p><p>Without him, without his love, all the color is gone. Her life turns from vibrant red to shades of grey.</p>
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